CedieSchades

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The photo quality is not good, but still I’m happy I finally took a picture of it! ūüôā and this photo is my 100th post.

“I’m Sorry”

“I’m sorry I can’t be with you for the mean time, for not being there when you need someone to talk to, for not giving you the “us” that you need. For all of this, I’m sorry.

I’m sorry if we have to wait, if we can’t get the things we want just yet, if I have put you in a situation I know you wouldn’t choose if only you knew it would happen. I’m sorry if things right now are not okay.

I’m sorry I can’t do anything at all, and all I could think of is to wait and wait and wait.

I know you are getting tired, but know this: I haven’t ceased praying to God for me, for you and for all the people who surround us; I have always prayed for your strength to last.

I’ll always be here. Not a thing will ever change.”

Top 3 Movies I Want to See

1. In Time (Justin Timberlake and Amanda Sayfried) – I’ve seen the trailer and I think it’s good!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2. Trespass (Nicolas Cage and Nicole Kidman) – Nicole is forever beautiful! This movie was introduced by my cousin so, I’m waiting for it. We both think it’s another Nicolas Cage power movie.

 

3. Happy Feet 2 – The trailer’s so so so cute!!! I’m absolutely going going to watch it with friends! I can’t seem to watch a movie alone right now.

Vous voir plus tard!

I’m gonna be a more disciplined girl this time, and you have to congratulate me for wanting to become more diligent in doing my school works. This means, too, I have to lessen my time here (sad).

But still, the laptop will always be a few meters away from me, and the internet is always¬†available, so when something hits me, I’d be more than glad to share it with you here. I just have to minimize the time I spend sitting in front of the laptop because it gives me more time, too, to do other stuff over the internet.¬†You see, I always think that 24 hours in a day is not enough for me to do all the things I want to do. Even tho my grandmother thinks I’m wasting my time, practically my whole day, in front of the laptop, I don’t think I am. It’s what I like doing, and I’m learning ¬†a lot of things on the internet. But they can’t complain really. They prefer it than seeing me going anywhere. So, God bless my eyes for I have strained them real hard (again). And See you later, people!

Letters You Will Never Read

These are letters I want to tell a couple of people I haven’t met yet or haven’t had the chance to talk to. I know they will never ever get to read these, but I just want to take advantage of owning this blog – being able to express myself. I have tried writing my thoughts in my journal but I fear my parents will eventually read them, and I’m so gonna be seriously finished. At least here, I’m 70% sure they won’t get the idea of searching the internet for my WordPress account. (Thank you, WordPress!)

(Heavy sigh) Here…

Dear Miss Dianne,

If I get to meet you on the street, I know I won’t be able to look straight into your eyes for a fact that I hardly could deny – I’ve always felt jealous because of you. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being immature by thinking “Why of all people on earth, it’s you I get to share my surname with?” (Just imagine that!) I console myself by saying it’s alright, I maybe even share my family name with hundreds of thieves, killers, snatchers, and all sorts of criminals. And you aren’t. So, sharing it with you isn’t that bad at all. Ha ha! Just kidding! So, let me apologize again for feeling in me this pain whenever I remember you, or whenever I hear your name. But you know what, I’m gonna be honest with you this time, I searched your account on Twitter. I’ve been using Twitter quite some time and it’s only recently that the idea hit me. And so I did. Sorry if it means I am a stalker (I am not!) it’s just that I’m not satisfied of not being able to know you at all. I wanted to add you not because of the reason I just want to constantly get updates from you, but I want to finally feel that I’m okay with you, that I’m not being immature anymore. But I didn’t add you, still. I realized it’s not worth doing because first, I don’t know what to say to you (I’m a bit shy) and I don’t have the face to talk to you at all. Second, I thought it won’t be proper for us being friends on any social network sites at all. I don’t know. Maybe because I know I haven’t fully recovered yet from my immaturity towards some matters concerning you. And I don’t want these things to reflect in any way, and you’ll get to see them. I don’t want that to happen. It’s better this way. But, since I’m trying really hard to be okay with you (not you exactly you, but rather the thought of you), I feel concerned, too. I know you don’t need an advise from me and who am I to teach you anyway? It’s just out of concern as a sister in faith. Sometimes, we get to do things we don’t intend doing or things we don’t call or consider mistakes at all. But I hope you get the time to review some things in your life especially the ones that you post that I believe shouldn’t be posted at all, but corrected instead. You know them better than I do (wink). And besides, ethanol can really cause severe damage on us in the long run. Even skin cells die when you put too much of it on them. You are older than I am, and I believe you are well aware of the things you get yourself in. I just want somehow to make sure you are sure about them, too. Anyway, praying for how I feel for you helped me shake off anything negative there is. I love you, and I’m not being plastic. It’s what my prayers taught me, loving you, because it’s the best and right thing to do. I’m wishing you all the best in life, same way I wish all the good things for all our brethren across the globe, including myself. God bless us!

Sincerely,

Cedie

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Dear Tita Susan,

Last semestral break, I faced the real scare of my life. I didn’t stay long after the church congregation service, because I know if I did, we’d be meeting each other again (which is what I’m trying to avoid all this time). The last time we were together was actually more than a year ago, in a lunch. I believe we both remember that. Tita, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not taking your calls, for not answering your texts… and for hurting your son. God knows I never wanted to hurt anybody. But I also know my explanations won’t keep you satisfied. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to embrace everything that he is, for not loving him the way you expected me to. I’m sorry for disappearing without a trace. I changed my number already, and I still believe I just did the right thing. I did love your son tita, the kind of love I can always give to everyone – the love found in a friendship. He’s special to me, and I’m still thankful to him for all the things he has done for me, for all the efforts he took in visiting me here, even though it meant he had to ask money from you. Which is why I feel really mortified whenever I think of it. Tita, I’m sorry again. I know it’s not enough for the pain I’ve caused you both. I know and accept that I’m wrong for being unfair, for not explaining things to him, for simply disappearing. But I just thought then that if I let myself stay longer to explain, I might change my mind. I didn’t want to hurt him, that’s why. I didn’t want to look at him, and I’d change my mind because of pity. I’d rather turn my back, give him pain for a while, than stay and make the two of suffer for a longer time. I hope you would understand. Your son is such a nice person. He was very protective, and I know he loved me more than his own life. But I didn’t want him to love me like that. It would be best if we let it this way. Maybe, God let it happened because He wanted someone else for the two of us. I was badly hurt, too, knowing it had to happen, that I had to leave. But still, I wish you, your son and your whole family the best. You have been very nice to me, and I will forever remember your kindness. I love you tita, and thank you for treating me like your own daughter.

Loving,

Cedie

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Dear Florence,

You are one of the people I never had the chance to talk to, and perhaps, have intentionally chosen not to. This letter won’t be too long. Like the old times, I have always spoken to you with a sense of strength. You are one of the few people I have learned to show my braver side to. It’s because I know you are fragile, and if I’m going to be the real me who is as breakable as a glass, we’d get nowhere. I am sorry. I’m sorry for being selfish, for saving myself while the boat we were in was already sinking. Sorry for leaving you behind without explaining well. I’m sorry if all I can be to you is a good friend. But I believe, I have tried to talk to you after a couple of months to make things okay, too, at least. You can always have a friend in me. Even though I also think you wouldn’t want me for a friend, now. I do understand that. But know this all the time: You are a good person. You are a loving son and brother, and you are one of the few¬†men I know who give girls high respect. You have never ever, not even once, took advantage of me in any way, and I really really thank you for it. Thank you, too, for respecting me above all other girls you know, for not even once shouting at me, for treating me almost like a queen, for not making me feel I’m just another girl in your life, for all the extraordinary things you’ve done only for me. We might have fought a lot of times because of the things we told each other that hurt us both, but believe me, all I wanted for you is to get the life you and your parents have always wanted for you. That’s the reason why I never asked you to change, because I wanted you tor realize that on your own. You did change yourself, but I wanted you to do that for yourself and your parents, not for me. Whatever it is you’ve achieved, I’m happy for you. Continue praying, and never cease doing good. God bless, you Flong. I wish you the best. ¬†And thank you for the friendship.

Always,

Cedie

BitteryBitteryBitter

Just last week, I told a friend that Quinn Fabray of Glee is beautiful. She is. But I seriously didn’t know her name in real life. While searching the internet, I saw another blog which posts about celebrities. I spotted the link Dianna Agron, and I remember “someone” mentioning it in her tweets – someone I really don’t have the vibes of being okay with (I intentionally searched her account on Twitter and I didn’t like what I found). So, I clicked the link and voila! Quinn Fabray’s pictures flashed before my eyes. Now, I’m bitter. I don’t consider her pretty because she’s Dianna Agron and she’s being somebody else’s ultimate idol. Done!

Okay! Okay! I’m being bad. I’m sorry. Quinn’s fine. I just hate the thought I didn’t know she is actually Dianna Agron, and the fact that I’ve tried to forget about that somebody who likes her for months now. I just felt a stabbing pain when I learned about it, really.

Auto-tuned or Not, Doesn’t Matter

Youtube sensations like Boyce Avenue, Sam Tsui, Jake Coco, Julia Sheer, Tyler Ward, Olivia Noelle and a lot more are receiving comments on their videos that they are using the auto-tune audio processor. Again, opinions are tolerated as long as they don’t cause real good damage at all. So, I’m gonna give out one. As a fan of these guys, I just don’t care if they are using the auto-tune thingy. What matters to me is to be more than satisfied when watching their crafts. Their videos are brilliant, and if it’s the auto-tune processor is the key to it, then so be it! If their voice quality’s being altered, it doesn’t matter to me as long as they give me some real good entertainment. Of course, people are just commenting that they are using it, but it doesn’t mean that they really are. I’m just posting something about it in event that they really are using auto-tune to show my support to these guys. They’re giving the public good videos and the least we can do is to watch, appreciate and be amazed!